I haven't been on in... wow, exactly a month. So I just thought that I would share some of my randomness with you:
I had a dream. It was a very nice dream where I just happened to be in Indonesia, in the province of North Maluku. The only reason I know that is because I just happened to see a map in the dream. Anyway, I stood inside a house. It was very small compared to where I live. The room I was in, which was some kind of living room, looked to be about the size of my bedroom. On the ground were white tiles that had a simple green leaf design in the middle of each one. There were people standing around me. A boy, a woman, and an old man. They were all faceless and without names, but I felt as if I knew them all very well.
The room itself didn't have any expensive furniture or anything. There was a couch with a thin, wooden frame and really old, ratty looking cushions. But at the time, I didn't think anything of it. The woman was apparently giving me a tour of the house, because she then brought me into the kitchen. It was really small. It only had a small stove, a sink-like thing, and a table with a bowl full of water. She started to boil the water on the stove while the old man watched. While they were preoccupied, the little boy grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside the house.
I remember the place I was in being absolutely stunning. The house from the outside was a plain white box with a redish-pink colored roof. We were at the base of a hill and I could see hill after hill as far as I could see. The ground was covered in light green grass dotted with houses identical to the one I was just in. Beyond the houses was the edge of a forest, but I could only see the deep green leaves over the rooftops. I remember just looking at the sight for a really long time. I think the boy got annoyed that I wasn't moving, so he turned me around.
The house was right on the water. I looked out into the deep blue ocean. There were a few docks branching out from the land. In the water, there were small sailboats. Some of them had fishing lines coming off of them. In the far distance, I could see the deep outline of a bigger island. And then I woke up.
When I woke up, I remembered this dream so vividly, which never happens with me. I almost felt like crying, having to leave such a beautiful place. I don't believe in any god or internal energies or any of that stuff, but I can't help but think that this was some sort of sign. Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me to travel to far off lands. To just forget everything and go for an adventure. To just leave everything behind, forgetting all of my worries, and just... live.
One thing I do believe is that your subconscious is always trying to teach you something. And I do think that this is one of those lessons. I can't constantly work all of the time. Sometimes I just need to stop time for a moment and take it all in. But I know that that's impossible. I can't stop time, as much as I wish I could. I can only try my best to enjoy each and every moment to the best of my ability. For even though moments alone are nothing, put them together, and you get a memory. And whether it is amazing or not, it is still a memory that makes me who I am.
In 49 days, my plane leaves for my epic journey to Italy. I know that when I come home after 5 weeks in a foreign land with no direct connection to my family and friends, I will be a different person. And whether everybody at home thinks I will have changed for better or for worse is up to them to decide. But I now know that it's my duty to take in every single moment and turn all of those moments into cherished memories.
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Thanks for anybody who got this far into my post. It means so much to me that you took the time to read my post. I kinda went of on a philosophical rant at the end... And sorry it was so long, but I guess I was just making up for the past month of nothingness or something...
